Me masquerading as Gwyneth Paltrow

Okay...so recently in the media Gwyneth Paltrow has been named both the most annoying celebrity and the most gorgeous. While that sounds contradictory..it isn't really. We find her annoying because she is so gorgeous and ....well....perfect.

She is tall and lean, not a skerrick of body fat, she's married to a cute and successful rock star, she has one shiny boy and one shiny girl, with cute names like, Moses and Apple. Gwyneth, of the whimsical name, eats organic, exotic super-foods like quinoa and agave syrup and ground cashew spread. She has a brilliant career as a movie star and still finds time to give her children foot massages before bed. She cooks and has her own successful line of cook-books, she has a snappy blog (GOOP) and she works out for two hours a day. She's the epitome of the woman who 'has it all'.

So last week I decided to quit gazing at Gwen from afar with my jaw hanging open. No more reading about the superwoman and staring at her impossible figure/skin/cheekbones/glossy hair etc. I decided to BE Gwyneth Paltrow. After all, if you are going to emulate a celebrity, why not go for one who might just be the most perfect mother, actress, chef, gym work-outerer...bla, bla, bla...

First up, I dyed my hair blonde. Going straight from dark brown, that might not have been the best idea. I am currently sporting some kind of fruit-bat orange mop...but it's a work in progress.

I estimate that I need to lose ten kilos to be at my absolute prime weight. The GP diet is actually scrumptious. I start my days with a green smoothie....carrot, celery, apple, cucumber, ginger and a good sized helping of spirulina and wheat grass mixed in. Lunch is grilled salmon and a salad of lettuce mix, grated beetroot and carrot, cherry tomatoes, avocado, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, dulse seaweed and crushed walnuts, drizzled with organic olive oil and a clove of raw garlic. Dinner is a quinoa extravaganza with an array of unpronouncable exotic vegetables. I drink coconut water and green tea and take supplements of Ginseng, chromium and Bitter Melon.

I bought a Tracy Anderson work-out DVD (GP's personal trainer) and I swear this woman is a sadistic maniac. The work-out is torturous but I get through it every day and feel better for it. I go for a forty minute walk every morning.

I've been  meditating and devoting more time to my own little kids...homework. doing some art and craft and all that Mumsy stuff.

I have spring-cleaned the house and organised myself a little better. I have been working on a new novel.

I am living the dream.

One week down...I'm feeling cleaner and more energized...watch out Gwyneth ...I'm on your tail...

Tomorrow...I ramp up the blonde to the next level and add an extra kilo to my hand weights...I've shaved off two kilos already and for all those knockers of the big GP...I say...use her as an inspiration to improve your life....as role models go...you could do a lot worse.


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